Anna*

I came from a home where I felt very alone - I had to find my own way through some very difficult things that I still struggle to talk about. I was given a Gideons New Testament and Psalms at school when I was twelve and would read it every evening - I especially enjoyed looking up all the ‘where to find help’ references. There was a lot of silence in my house - I spent all my time hiding in my room. To read that God had things to say about shame, darkness, and wanting to die was really comforting. I then bought a full Bible where I discovered the book of Isaiah. It struck a real chord with me about the reality of sin and suffering but also the fresh, bright, Springtime life that Jesus is bringing. 

“O storm-battered city, troubled and desolate! I will rebuild you with precious jewels and make your foundations from lapis lazuli.” - Isaiah, chapter 54

I then took a gap year in which time everything fell apart. I worked in a restaurant where my boss would assault me every Friday in the walk-in freezer. I went to uni but was extremely depressed - drinking and self harming. I still had my Gideons Bible though and still talked to Jesus in my head.

Then I met a missionary who read the Bible with me. We focused on union with Christ - that we can be united to him and all my darkness goes on him and all his mercy and kindness comes on me. I’m no longer an orphan dragging my pain around with me begging other people for kindness - I now have a home and a kind Father.